Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
