So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Drunk is not a location!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
