I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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