Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
