I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize