Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
