Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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