She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
