I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
