if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
