Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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