that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
