I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
