i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
