hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize