Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
