College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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