If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
