And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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