you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
