How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
