Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
