So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm passing your future prison.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
