It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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