im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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