Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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