Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
