So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
