I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
