yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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