4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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