Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
