i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
