She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
