Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
i've created a new STD.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
