Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
