I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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