I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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