You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
