Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
