I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My ass is underappreciated
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
