just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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