They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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