I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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