Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
