I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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