Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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