I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
