is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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