Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
