how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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