I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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