i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
