Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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