then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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