The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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