I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
