Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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