so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
